Find yourself, find love

You girls always give me so much to think about. Every time I talk you I want to do another girls club and have another conversation and share more thoughts!

I want to base this one off of two different girls, one who has lost her group of friends and another struggling to love herself. Perhaps these should be 2 different posts but if 2 then 10! I think they share the same root of the problem. Follow me if you will.

Loosing friendships is hard. So very hard. In order to address the problem, we need to really dig deeper and address the problem. Why? Why is it hard? What do you want from others? What do we expect from friendships? Why do we engage in these relationships, so temporal and fragile? I think when we really trim back the fluff and get to the root of it, we want love. Human's have an innate desire to love and be loved (I have my own theories on that, but that's for a different day). We are programed for love, we run off of it. If I have one person who loves me, I can do anything - it gives me strength everyday, it fuels my life. We all need to give love and to feel love.

To feel love. That is the challenge we all face, and that is what units these two problems, as well as many, many others. I would even go as far as to call that desire for love the root of all pain, agony, and fear, self-induced and otherwise. But it can also bring us the greatest joy. We want to feel loved.

Ideally, our parents should be one sure source of love for us all. Many parents are caught up in their own problems - that doesn't mean they don't love us, it just means they can't show it right now. They do still love you. No matter what they say or do. Sometimes things just get in the way. Sometimes we both sides just don't communicate it very well. Our parents love isn't the end of it though.

Many people look for love in poor relationships and are taken advantage of and get hurt even worse. Be careful of those. Surround yourself with people that bring you joy and love you for you. No matter what. You deserve that love, pure genuine love. Don't settle for less.

Now the flip side of it - love others. Some of the people I love best in the world are ones that found me in a dark corner and just loved me. I can't express how much I love them for that. I needed it and I appreciate them and the impact they have had on my life. They are the forever friends - because they loved me when I was at my worst. Be that person for someone else. Find someone that needs your love and love them - wholeheartedly. You won't regret it.

These last few weeks have reminded me more than ever that everyone is fighting a hard battle, everyone needs your love. Love people 100%. If they only love you back 30% or 50% or 80%, enjoy their love. If they love you back 100% then you have a great friend.

Perhaps the most important: love yourself. There are so many people criticizing us, so many people judging us, you don't need to do that to yourself. Love who you are! Love yourself for all the amazing attributes you have or want to have. Even just having a desire to be better is a step in the right direction - be happy about it! I think we will talk about power statements next girls club - but remember to tell yourself how amazing you are. Look in the mirror. Really see yourself. And Smile.

Love is a process that we all have to work through. Be patient. Find yourself, find your niche, and find love.

Love.

What are some of your suggestions? How do we find love from others?

Expect more Good

GIRLS club today was on expecting more good, more good from those around you and from yourself. I guess after having such a frustrating couple of weeks, I was so inspired by you, the young women I get to work with. You have so much good in you. So much light and joy and potential that I hope one day you will be able to see. I see the future. I see a generation of amazing people who are ready to change the world - by being good. You are an inspiration to me and have helped me to set my own standards a little higher, to expect more good.

I loved to see what you said was good. I would love to hear what else you consider good in your life. There are so many things that add to our lives and bring us joy!

All I see is Good!

Love your Life Week

April 21st - April 28th

Remember to keep up with Love your Life week! Here's the schedule as a reminder:

Thursday: Welcome!
Come to the meeting and learn about happiness in daily living. Then get ready to take the Love Your Life challenge by applying what you've learned over the next 8 days.

Friday: Define Beauty.
Define beauty, real true beauty, and what it means to you. List 20 things that you LOVE about you. Be sure to include the many sides of you! i.e. Physically, emotionally, socially, in school, with friends, attributes as a sibling, etc.

Saturday: Break time.
Spend time doing something you really like to do. Enjoy being outside, go for a walk, chat with a friend, get a massage, or read a book. The possibilities are endless! Take the time to realize you are enjoying yourself in that moment, and not just after the fact.

Sunday: Inside Out.
Spend as much time on the inside as you do on the outside. Find something you want to improve on and make a goal. Reconcile yourself with someone distant, refrain from judging others, or strive to see the waterline of life's cup just a little fuller. Maybe you want to set a goal to be kinder, nicer, and a little more compassionate. Whatever it may be, set your mark and go for it. You can do anything you put your mind to - remember that Rome wasn't built in a day. If it's not easy the first time, it's only going to get better.

Monday: Simple Kindness Day.
Smile, and perform 3 acts of kindness today. You could send a nice note to a friend, or help your mom cook dinner. Maybe there is a person who just needs your friendly hello. You could thank your bus driver for the ride and pick up your neighbor's newspaper on the walk home. There are countless ways to show a little extra kindness every day.

Tuesday: Media Awareness Day.
Look at media, really look at it. What are they trying to sell you? What image is being portrayed? Are you comparing yourself to the image? Nearly ALL media is photo-shopped and edited, it isn't real! also, how is the media affecting your mood? Is it cheering you up or depressing you? Be aware of this and choose not to let the media negatively affect your mood, sense of self image, or worth.

Wednesday: Love your Day.
List 15 things you LOVED about your day! this definitely does not have to be anything big. What people are you grateful for in your life? Did you have something super tasty for lunch? Maybe the Physics test you were stressing out over got cancelled, or the weather was nice, or you finally managed to wake up on time.

Thursday: Power Statements.
Come to GIRLS club meeting and we'll write a power statement! At the meeting, share what you have learned throughout the week, and learn how to keep applying the things you've learned and happiness in daily living.

Blog what?

With the end of the college school year, I realized just how much I am going to miss you girls this summer and decided to start a blog. I'm looking forward to having a way to answer your questions and offer my insights where needed. I really want to hear your opinions and your struggles. Let me know your thoughts on my posts - there is so much we can learn from each other!